Monday, April 29, 2002

Why Oh Why? I have a problem with the chinese coffee lady in the morning. Every morning I'm rushing to get the subway, and everymorning at the Y&E stop, I ask her for a cup of coffee. Three mornings in a row I asked her NOT to put the lid on, cuz I have to take it off anyway and put sugar in it. But she won't listen. This morning I asked her nicely again.. and she says Okay!, but as soon as she was done pouring the coffee, she started to reach out for the lid. Sensing this violation of our verbal committment, I shouted from the counter window NO CUP! NO CUP! and she put it on it anyways. Then she took it off... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! I'm not an asshole (cuz I was nice the first 3 times) but why the hell won't people listen to their customers? From the chinese lady at the coffee shop to the mega-for-profit corporation to the goody-two-shoes-opensource-development-wolf-in-a-sheep's-clothing-corp, the problem is endemic! The customer who's paying the bills is most of the times ignored, why the whims and wishes of the "provider" are forced upon the customer.. Today was a busy day, but a short day at that (thank gaaawd!). We went through a project managment "toolset". Basically a bunch of excel spreadsheets with fragile interconnects and even sparser documentation. What i feel is this (and call me names if you must) IT and software development is a CON Job! We went through a list of projects sorted by size and their respective success ratios.. guess what? less than 1% of projects over 10 million in budgets ever see the light of day! People would hang professional engineers if this was their reputation, but every two penny wannabe in the software land can come over and start hawking his warez. Call him/her self a "software engineer" and make a good buck, fuck customers and paying public in the arse and get away with it... Ironically enough, the "toolset" we were using was also a collection of haphazard scripts that was put together to help a project move along, but there are so many ways to improve it, so many ways to streamline it, so many frustrating things, so much manual crap to do, but it is being pushed to internal corporate "clients" anyways. Its an excellent idea, but my god, why can't it be more integrated? when the sole purpose of the thing is to "make life easier" for Project Management Professionals. Anyhow enuph bitching about corporate life, now we turn back to the legend of the return of yours truly which speaks of the enchanted encounter with the "Mr. Sub" service professional. Me: Enters the "Mr. Sub" establishment, which seems to be deserted for some odd reason. [the owner, or the service professional can be seen in the back of the shop, fiddling with something. I hope that he's not handling garbage at this very moment, since he'll Never bother to wash his hands! Fortunately this is not the case, and even though I can't determine what he's doing, it appears his hands are clean. He proceeds to get up and do me the honor of coming behind the counter] SP (Service Professional): Yes!? Me: ummm... what's in that pita combo? SP: what? Me: is that chicken? or is that beef? I can't seem to tell from the picture. SP: Oh that?.. that is chicken. Me: Do you have that with chicken? SP: yeah.. Me: Okay, Could I have the pita with chicken? SP: yes... [He proceeds to take out a pita from the bottom of somewhere behind the counter.. As the pita comes into view, its clearly evident that the poor thing has been there for a while. This determination was made due the nearly disintegrating edges of the pita(s). As he's trying to bring this pita out, he tries to shake off the other pita that was sticking to it for some romantic reason, but fails in his apparent non-chalant attempt. In a split second decision.] Me: [Having looked at the pita and having determined that this fragile mockery of the authentic mexican staple is in no shape to go through a vigorous stuffed-sandwich making regimen..I decide to open my big mouth] Are you sure this will work? SP: Huh? Me: This pita looks pretty old [this comment elicits a hurt look from the service professional] SP: This is not old! Me: Well, the sides are breaking off! SP: where? Me: On the side! the sides are crumbling away as you handle this thing.. SP: This is just the way they are [or something to that effect] Me: This thing looks pretty old, like its been there for a while! Me: Do you make these here? like you make the sub buns? SP: We make the sub buns here [points to the nasty looking buns on the side, ignoring the question] Me: I'm sorry this pita is too old, do you have another one? SP: C'mon man! I already gave you two pitas [pointing to the other pita stuck to the first one .. and probably regretting that had he broken them off, he could give me the other one as a replacement] Me: I think I'll just have a regular sub. Is that okay? SP: [hurt look in the eyes] What are you going to do with this man? are you going to put it in the cupboard? [this is a turkish guy probably at least that's what I think the accent is] or are you going to eat it? Me: No, but I can't knowingly eat something that's crumbling before my eyes! SP: [reluctantly picks up a bun and starts to prepare it] Me: I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend you with this, but I just can't eat that. SP: Don't worry man! I don't mind.. SP: Life is short man! Me: Yeah, but why make it any shorter? SP: [picks up the knife, and throws it from his right hand, catches it in his left hand, looks at me..] well that depends! Me: Absolutely... can I have some green and black olives on that? SP: sure.. SP: Its okay.. I don't mind these things.. its fine by me.. Me: Thankyou for understanding.. I'll pay for the pita you know? SP: No.. No.. that's okay man.. I don't mind.. I don't mind these little things.. [looks at the forlorn pitas still stuck together..] Me: Thanks, can I have some napkins with that please? SP: sure.. Is this to go? Me: yes please! SP: [puts the sub in the paper bag and hands it to me] its fine.. Me: Yes, thanks, have a nice day... SP: ...... Me: turns around [And gets the fuck out of the establishment] So that was my encounter with a Mr Sub clerk! what did YOU do today? 9:11:03 PM    comment []

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